My New Year’s Resolution: Fuck It
This probably sounds like a strange way to start the New Year. And, I don’t know, maybe it is. But you know what, I don’t care. That’s the point.
I’m starting this year my way.
Maybe I should back up here… I’m not actually saying fuck it as in I’m going to abandon my life. I’m not even saying I don’t care, because I do. I care a lot, about a lot of things. I care about my husband and our marriage. The emotional wellbeing of my kids. My dog. My parents. My family. My friends. My writing. My readers. My successes. My failures. Life. Purpose. Meaning….
Well, you get the picture. The list is endless.
I am not going to give up caring about those things, nor do I want to. All those things give me drive and purpose, and as much as I’d love to go sit on a mountaintop and think for a couple of weeks about life and the cosmos, too much relaxation isn’t in my nature. I slacked my entire teenage existence before I grew bored and gave it up. I haven’t looked back since.
What I am giving up is caring about things I have no control over and letting those outside circumstances stop me. So what exactly do I mean? Well, I’m glad you asked…
I’m going to go to hot yoga even though at first I’ll have to lie down on the floor most of the time and pray I won’t faint.
I’m going to give up my job, even though it will make some people unhappy, because it’s time, and I want to be happy.
I’m going to be authentic; even though I worry you might not like me.
I’m going to give myself permission to be messy because perfection is no longer an obtainable, or mentally healthy goal for me.
I’m going to let myself write with freedom even though my mom, or my neighbor, or that judgey mom at the PTA might read it. Because if I’m holding myself back, I’m holding my characters back, and that’s not acceptable to me.
I’m going to look my husband’s boss right in the eye and say, “I write romance novels.”
I’m going to offer a copy of my dirtiest book to the guy that asks about my hero’s “throbbing member” because obviously he needs lessons in creativity.
I’m gong to own it. Some day’s I’ll be brilliant. Other’s I’ll be an epic failure. But that’s okay because they’ll be mine.
In other words, FUCK IT.
Life it too short to care about the shit you can’t control.
So as we start this New Year, full of hope, brimming with the possibilities of this being our year, I want us all to remember one thing…
Because we are.
Happy New Year. We’ve got this.